We are grateful for the life of Helen Kukuk, a longtime member of University Lutheran Church, who died on April 15, 2016. Our thoughts and prayers are with the faithful friends who cared for Helen in her last weeks, and for all who were touched by her life. Please see Helen's page on the University Lutheran Church website for more information, and share your memories here.
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Helen was a wonderful role model and mentor to me when I became Church Council president in my mid-20s and then later when I served as financial secretary. She was always available to answer questions, and her blunt, no-nonsense advice always helped me think more clearly. Thank you, Helen, for your leadership and friendship!
ReplyDeleteI will always remember Helen for her wonderful Epiphany parties at her home on Sacramento Street in Cambridge, which she hosted; and she remained such a wonderful and supportive friend -- even after I spectacularly melted a baked Alaska dessert in her oven at one of those parties. Helen was such an intelligent person and so well-informed about classical music, a long-time member of the Handel and Haydn Society chorus, an attender of Boston Symphony Orchestra concerts, and a supporter of my own music performed at UniLu. Later, Imogene, Kerstin, and I came to know her collection of bears during dinners and stimulating conversation at her condominium. We will miss her, but we are smiling at having been blessed in so many ways by this wonderful member of our congregation.
ReplyDeleteHelen's car was nick-named 'The Cardinal,' and I always think of Helen when I see a cardinal 'in the wild.' She was resilient, brilliant and always a surprise, like a cardinal. I will miss being able to share our mutual wanderings when I visit UniLu.
ReplyDeleteLarry met Helen Kukuk (which she pronounced coo-coo) when he started attending UniLu as a Harvard grad student in the early 1960s. Karen also met Helen at UniLu, but they really got to know each other while they were both working at Mass General Hospital, where Helen was a Charge Nurse.
ReplyDeleteAmong the things which won Larry over to UniLu were the liturgy, the congregational singing, Henry Horn’s preaching, Connie Parvey’s ministry to students, and Helen’s Sunday afternoon excursions. Almost every Sunday Helen would collect a group of young people, ask us what we were planning to do that afternoon, and then tell us what we were actually going to do. (Helen had a tendency to take charge.) It might be lunch in China Town, a trip along the north shore, or a drive to see fall foliage along Route 2. Sometimes she drove her own big car, and sometimes one of us drove. It was always great fun.
Over the years we attended many parties at her apartment on Queensbury Street in Back Bay and met members of Handel and Haydn. Helen loved singing with H&H, and seemed to be friends with all the members. Eventually she moved to an apartment on Sacramento Street in Cambridge, where the parties continued.
We often exchanged visits with Helen, and she loved to attend Karen’s choral concerts. She and Bruce Krag became part of our family, and for over forty years they joined us for dinner on holidays like Christmas, Easter and Thanksgiving. Larry once visited Helen’s childhood home in Kingston, NY, but he never had a chance to meet her father – all Larry knows is that her father drove a Packard, because for years whenever Helen saw a Packard she would say “That’s what my father drives!”
Helen’s many health problems started when a jumping dog injured her knee shortly after we first met her. Because of that and other injuries she suffered persistent pain for most of her life, and lost much of her sight in recent years. Yet she had incredible inner strength and would not give up. Although she came close to marrying on at least one occasion, it never happened -- but she had an enormous circle of friends, and a room full of very affectionate stuffed bears. We celebrate her life. May her name be found written in the palm of God’s hand.
I went to the MGH School of Nursing with Helen and I was the one who brought her to UniLu. I had visited several churches in Boston, and had been attending Trinity Episcopal, until Lil Rowe invited me to go with her to University Lutheran Church. I found a church home that day. But Lil and I went off on different rotations, and I wanted company; so I returned and told my friends, "I have found men!" From then on, I never went to church alone. Several of my friends found their husbands there. Helen found her church home, and the supportive family of friends who enabled her to live independently as long as possible; and at the end, to have a comfortable, dignified and spiritual death.
ReplyDeleteHelen,
ReplyDeleteHow do I capture all the memories we've made and how much I shall miss you? I got to know you as one of your student drivers, though the bond was formed when we first met. You offered me your hand in greetings and I, in my peculiar straight forward way, commented on how "unique" your hands were. I would later learn the toll arthritis had taken on your body, the toll it would take, and the unconquerable inner spirit that affected me in many a glorious way. The drives to nowhere in particular (showing me the Christmas lights at the Christian Science complex, dinner following at some Italian restaurant stands prominent in my mind, followed by a trip our trip to Gloucester on which I later brought my parents). How, despite being able to see so little, you always knew where we were . . . I often thought you were really just playing possum.
I could continue with the shared memories (and what I remember of the Uni Lu history lessons you taught me), but instead I shall say that I really miss you. I miss your emails on your daily life; I miss your Uni Lu gossip; I miss chatting with you about the BSO, but above all I miss your genuine interest in my life and family. You always wanted to know how I/we were doing and you were always patient when my replies would at limes lag. My son will always have his Auntie Helen, an honor my daughter will sadly not share. Thank you for being part of my family and for caring as you have.
As my mom states, you were such a lovely lady. Agnes and I will add beautifully unique. May God bless you in your next stage of life and comfort us who are still in this stage. You have left a large footprint.
We remember Helen fondly. We were some of Helen's "drivers" in 1999-2000, as her sight worsened. She was unfailingly cheerful and engaging. I remember very distinctly that she introduced us to clementines, those wonderfully juicy and sweet little citrus fruits. I think of her every time I first see them in the stores every winter.
ReplyDeleteHelen is unforgettable and her spirit will be in my heart. I remember her plants, her smile, her tenacity and gentle pride. I also remember her stories as a nurse at MGH. I pray and actually feel so certain that she is dancing at the banquet. May the memory of all the ways in which she has touched lives and modeled to live life be a blessing.
ReplyDeleteWe all miss Helen deeply. She was a great friend and neighbor.
ReplyDeleteI had the great fun of chauffeuring Helen (and a couple other friends) around Germany in the summer of 2012 to attend friends' wedding and do some sightseeing. Despite her limited eyesight she seemed to greatly enjoy the mountains we drove by, the cathedrals and the castles we toured, and the centers of the small towns where we were able to safely park with her handicapped permit. She was active and engaged until her final trip to the hospital, attending concerts and musicals still in the few months before her death even when it took more effort to get out and about with a wheelchair.
ReplyDeleteI honestly have no idea when I met Helen; I started going to Unilu as an undergraduate, continuing as a graduate student, and over time, she just entered the circle of friends that I would see on Sundays if I went to church, and talk to at the Easter parties or other events. She came to mean much more to me, though, during my last few years in the Boston area, and after I moved away. With my now-husband, Sasha, we'd join Helen for dinner or an outing (a birding trip to Plum Island springs to mind). But even more importantly than that, we kept in e-mail contact. While I love getting to know new places and enjoyed our 3 years living in Germany, it is really hard starting over, and especially during the first few months, or at times like Easter, I would really miss Cambridge, Unilu, and all my friends. Helen's "news" helped me so much to feel connected in moments of homesickness. Her updates on our other friends' lives, events at church, dinners that she went to or outings to music helped me feel that even though I was physically far away, I was still connected. I hate to use the word gossip for her e-mails, because (although we all know Helen had strong opinions), it usually seemed more like she was just letting us know the things our friends would all have shared with us if we'd had the time.
ReplyDeleteShe enjoyed keeping up on the news from our family, and has already shared her love of bears with Ada. I hope over time that Ada doesn't just enjoy the wonderful flavor (texture?) of her bear's snout, but will enjoy hearing stories about the special woman who loved her enough to send her Mr. Snuffles.
I learned from Helen that sometimes it's OK to just ask for what you need. And sometimes, by remembering things well enough to share the stories with her, I think I enjoyed the experiences more both at the time, and then again in writing them up to share. I am sad to think that she won't be there in person to spend time with us the next time we are in Cambridge. Perhaps we will have to go to a nice Italian dinner in her honor.
My first conversation of length with Helen was after a noon-time Maundy Thursday service. Helen invited me on a ride through Mount Auburn Cemetery. I was busy, but she appealed to my Tennessee origins and mentioned the spring flowers. I went. She had guessed what I needed, or known that spring in New England is shy and needs to be sought out. We have talked a lot about the greening of spring since then, the annual progression of her garden, and the food that comes from human toil and from miracle. There were many other things as well over the last 27 years, but they depend on our friendship starting. I will remember Helen as one who extended a hand of friendship.
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